Illustration Friday from 2/19/10

I'm teaching myself to draw.  I was going to saying trying to teach myself, but as Yoda says, there is no try.  So, here's my entry for Illustration Friday, this drawing series.  This was for 2/19/10.  I'm proud of it.  It should be obvious what it is.  If not, drop a comment and I'll explain.  The topic was Propagate.

Added after the fact: I like somewhat that propagate made me immediately think of eggs and sperm.  I think I've taken way too many Biology classes in my life.

snow!

I went home and got snowed in with the family and then we had to shovel.  And shovel.  And so on.  For 6 hours on Sunday.  And I was glad to be there. :D

Snowflex!

Snowflex 2!

This looks like it should be on a website called Chicks with Snow Shovels. haha

mirror mirror on the wall

I really like self-portraits in random reflective surfaces.  I should take one in my mirror while I'm at my parents' house, especially since I might be here for a while.  (The world is covered in a thick layer of snow thanks to yesterday and today's storm.)

Waking up in front of the laptop.

Window!  I was waiting for the bus to get home before the snow got too bad.

Spike Lee!

He came to my university and gave a lecture and it was awesome.  I made myself not take notes and just listen instead.  And I asked him what my generation (African-Americans who aren't the ones doing everything first but still have to deal with racism) should do when we get discouraged.  He said he remembers his ancestors, how slavery was only two or three generations ago and how his grandmother lived in the Jim Crow south and made his education possible.  I'm glad I went, it was a great lecture.  And I have pics!:

Spike Lee!

He was very animated.

Look how many people!

Boots n Grains

My boots got here today!  They are AWEZOME!!!!!!  They need to break in too, and I can't wear socks with them.  I need some trouser socks (thin socks!).

And, this is what I had for dinner: quinoa and nuts.  It was pretty good, more of my "cook what you got and what's cheap" philosophy.  And quinoa is amazing if your stomach is jacked up, not moving freely, whatever euphemism you prefer.  ;D

retinal Photoshop

I have been having a hard time trying to find words to explain what many of you will know is a huge departure from what is me.  But that's the problem, what am I, and how do you become something tenable once you've been pigeonholed into something untenable?  And why explain at all?

I've felt for a long time that people are ultimately defined in their worlds by their reflections in the eyes of others, the problem being that none of us ever actually sees what is actually in front of us.  [nerd alert]: Retinal images are flipped and then reflipped for an image.  Human sight is all Photoshopped.

I have been miserable with the distortion of my self for a very long time.  Fortunately, I might have the possibility of ripping away my exterior and exposing something new and grubby.  Human beings don't generally get to be butterflies.  We don't get to leave behind our established shells and be something else.

The next two years will be a [cliche alert] journey for me, I hope.  And I hope that in the mirror on the other side will be something braver, less lonely, less desperate, louder, sweeter, and ultimately liveable, something that could be a friend, wife, lover, mother, human.  In the meantime, I hope the pictures I post here will document the next two years and will reflect something of the thing I hope to find.

Special note: If you don't understand why I'm doing this or HOW I can bring myself to, please simply trust in me and my belief.  You don't know the reasons and they are too complicated and old and involve too many other people with other lives for me to even try to explain, but I would not be doing this if I didn't think it necessary.  And no, I don't want to talk about it.  I didn't arrive at this decision lightly.
J.

PS The name is from Spaceballs.
"Going to plaid": a desperate action to escape an intolerable fate, requires secret hyperjets, may lead to fuel shortages and salvation.